I don’t understand a lot. I don’t understand how much you loved me. I don’t understand how somebody could cause so much pain. All the time I think, ‘why would you do this to me?’. I cry all the time, it just doesn’t stop. And sometimes I’m okay, I forget about it and pretend it never happened. I can never keep that up a lot, and when I remember it’s even worse and I don’t want to even move. Everything aches, my tummy hurts from crying, my heart hurts so much. I just can’t stop, and I just wish you knew how much you meant to me. I wish you’d talk to me.

I feel like I have to hold myself together, I wrap my arms around myself and it makes me cry even harder because it’s the only hug I get. I feel like everything around me has separated from my life and it’s just me. I’m so afraid. I’m so scared it makes me cry and it won’t go away. The pain is so unbearable I can’t look at myself, I can’t talk or open my eyes. I just sit there crying, all the time. I have cramps in my stomach. I can’t do this, I need you so badly I just need it back the way it was.

It was so easy for you to let go and break my heart. My whole life was ripped away from me and it feels like you got out without a scratch or a bruise. Why?